


Tears and Joy

by lightandspark



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, American Revolution RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander needs to get it together, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eliza is wondering what to do now, F/M, Fluff, Hamliza, Historical Inaccuracy, Jealousy, Post-Reynolds Pamphlet, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, mention of infidelity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24137605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightandspark/pseuds/lightandspark
Summary: One will wonder what will become of The Hamilton’s during the aftermath of the pamphlet and question Hamilton’s fidelity. Eliza certainly does.Alexander has other things to worry about, as in keeping prying eyes away from his wife.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Comments: 24
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

Eliza sighed, reading the last few of the earlier love letters between her and her husband, during their courting years in Morristown and his proposal. Closing her eyes, she let out a soft and defeated sigh before placing the letters into a small box, neatly folded and closing the top before placing it up on the highest selves of her wardrobe. Closing it quietly, making a small tap, she turned around and pressed her back against the dresser. Her heart was slowly sinking as Eliza often wonder when her time will come, she already felt so ashamed and humiliated of the recent, public confession that her husband had openly announced through a ninety-five paged pamphlet. All in all, detailing a horrendous true story of his infidelity with a younger woman. 

Tears pricked in her eyes, swallowing a sigh as she shook her head before glancing at the bed. She immediately felt her skin crawl, knowing that it was where her husband brought the other woman for pleasure as she turned away with clenched fists and hot tears blurring her vision. Suddenly, she heard footsteps out in the hall way as Eliza immediately straighten up, forcing back tears and made her way to mirror.

She pretended to finish up her hair, her long dark locks were draped elegantly in curls in the end of her tips. A elegant bun to hold it up, Eliza bit her lips, before looking down at her chest as she shudder as she realized it was quite indecent of her showing her chest... even though it wasn’t much. But people these days, since reading that horrid pamphlet, liked making rumours as Eliza rushed back o her wardrobe to find a shawl to wrap around her shoulder. 

“Betsey?” A soft voice called her, she almost didn’t recognized it as she had looked over her shoulder to ensure who it was. Immediately, her heart skipped as she found her husband, polished up, peering at the doorway, looking small and desperate. 

Eliza looked away, not wanting to fall into his arms again because she knew if he puts on a sad, tear jerking persona, she will throw herself onto him again. She will _not_ do that. She had been avoiding that for three months already, Eliza sighed as she tried her best to calmly say, “I’ll be down in a minute, Alexander.”

Alexander blinked before he tried to reach out to her with his words, “Do you need any-,”

”I’m fine, Alexander,” Eliza firmly said, going back in front of the mirror to drape a blue-green shawl over her shoulders that compliment her dress finely. She saw her husband’s violet blue eyes grow wide, almost pleadingly as Eliza glanced down at a hairbrush as she murmured out, “Wait by the doorway, downstairs, I’m almost done.”

”If you are almost finished, then I think it right for me to escort you down-,” Alexander began but Eliza quickly said,

”No, no, I’ll help myself,” she replied, trying her best not to look at him. There was something about her tone that might have made him freeze for a moment, as of processing it all before she heard Alexander leaving the bedroom and went down the halls, down the steps. Eliza closed her eyes, guilt swirling in her stomach as she took a breath in.

”This will be a long evening,” she softly murmured to herself before leaving the bedroom herself.

* * *

As she expected, Alexander was whisked away as soon as the stepped into the room of the dinner party. Eliza stood away, trying to excuse herself from some prying eyes as she could feel the whispers about her stabbing her in the back as she tried to keep her head up high and not flushed in embarrassment. Looking over at the side, where her husband stood with a bunch of men and women around him, he was talking most passionately before laughing at something one of the women had said.

A pit of hurt and jealousy ate her up as she glanced away, trying not to allow tears prick her eyes, swallowing hard as she tried to find a distraction. Hearing Alexander laugh now and days, it felt like humiliating her was worth it in her head and that he didn’t seem to care much about her feelings or of her anymore. A part of her wonders if she did something wrong, that she wasn’t a good wife and if she could have prevented any of this to happen.

She always knew Alexander was a flirtatious man, but Eliza trusted him and his fidelity and love was hers alone as much as hers was his... of course, the latter was wrong, perhaps he didn’t love her either. Some might say a divorce is necessary or at least, a separation that would be forever... but what about the children, they didn’t deserve any father humiliation or hurt, in society, the husband will provide for his family. Alexander does that, he continues to so as Eliza was still forever grateful for that as she will not deny that her husband does indeed love their children.

But, Philip and Angie are aware of the situation they were in, Eliza shudders as she escaped out into the balcony to get some fresh air. Alex, James, and John were getting more aware each day and poor little William was only four months, he will have to grow up in knowing the pain and the embarrassment that his father put their family through. Her poor children, Eliza blinked back tears and a little cough escaped into a little sob, they didn’t deserve this. Perhaps she could leave Alexander, a divorce? Maybe, her father was on her side and from what he wrote, he was flushing in embarrassment for her and begged her to come back to Albany to him with the children. Her father could provide her lawyers to do the case files and such, helping her with any custody issues though she will let Alexander have a say in this no matter what. 

Eliza’s hand clutched on the railing as she felt the cold breeze brush on any of her bare skin as she gaze up at the evening sky. If she divorces Alexander, maybe she could remarry... but to who? A wave of insecurity filled her body, she was y no means desirable... or so she thought? 

Closing her eyes, taking off her shawl and draped it onto the railing, she imagined life without Alexander... before fading away from that dream as it seemed more like a nightmare. No, she can’t leave him... she hated it to admit it but she knew she still loves him, which destroyed her inside at the thought he might have stopped loving her. She wanted to look back inside, wandering if he found someone better than her, of course he might have, for who is she going to compete with as she lost him, hadn’t she? 

“My God, why if it isn’t sweet little Betsey!” 

Eliza jumped in surprise looking over her shoulder before her eyes widen as she found Pierre Von Cortland by the balcony’s entrance as Eliza felt a smile growing on her face, “Little Pierre!” 

She exclaimed, taking his large hands instinct her tiny ones, looking up at the tall, lean handsome man who she once remembered as a little boy chasing her around in the gardens of either one of their estates. Pierre was a few years her junior, the brother of her brother-in-law’s younger brother’s wife. It was a confusing intertwine but neither one really minded as Eliza was giggling away as Pierre was kissing her hands repeatedly as he deemed her, “You are more beautiful than ever, my dear Eliza!” 

“You are too kind!” Eliza chuckled, her cheeks flushing red with embarrassment, in a good manner as the man gaze at her with sparkling green eyes as if she had fallen from heaven before him. 

“I only speak the truth, Eliza,” he assured her, not letting go of her hand even once. “It been so long, sixteen dreadful years, I must say!”

”Oh no,” Eliza blinked with wide eyes. “It been sixteen years?” She slowly smirked. “The last time I saw you, you were up to my shoulder.” 

“Yes,” Pierre chuckled quietly, still holding her hand as it fell natural as neither one were aware of it anymore. There was a comfortable silence in between them as Eliza smiled nurturing with a tenderness. Pierre blinked, feeling like he was seeing heaven before him as his lips turned into a witty grin, “I must say, it truly is an honour to see you again, Eliza.”

Eliza shook her head, smiling warmly as she pushed a stray lock of his auburn hair behind his ear, not noticing the flush of dusty pink on his cheeks, “Yes, I did miss seeing you, are you married yet?”

The question took him by surprise as Pierre went into an awkward ramble as he chuckled lightly, “Oh, no, no, not yet! I am very much still a bachelor....”

Eliza blinked, a little surprised before sighing fondly, “A handsome man still seeking a bride?” 

“Very much so,” Pierre offered his arm to her as Eliza took it, forgetting her woes as he lead her inside. “Though, May I say something?” 

“Of course?” Eliza nodded with a grin, not noticing the retake of turning heads of Alexander, who still stood with a crowd at the far end of the diner party as his eyes nearly turned into saucers. 

Pierre made a little nervous sound as he chuckled a little, “I always imagined that if I were married, it will be with a woman as fine as you,” he said with a mere whisper as Eliza blinked, take back with surprise. 

Eliza gaze up at the young man, always saw him as a surrogate brother or a mere friend, Pierre looked down with flushed red cheeks before hearing the music change as he offered his hand to her, “Um... the last time I remember, we danced when you were eighteen and I was a lad, but I remember you had dainty dancing feet... is that still true?” 

Eliza blinked before feeling a urge of childlike joy as she took his hand without any hesitation, Pierre’s eyes lid up as he grinned big as she replied, “Indeed I still do.” 

And with that, she let him take her onto the dance floor, not minding any questioning eyes as she merely wanted fun now. Fun with a friend that she could think she could rely on, just a friendly mate that she could spill her heart and joy out. Pierre spun her around, her gown dancing on it’s own. A flash of colour seemed to fill in the room as Eliza felt others joining onto the dance floor for a little spin or two but she and Pierre simply spender more than two dances. 

In the far corner, however, Alexander stood still as his company departed as his eyes are only on Eliza. Eliza and another man, Alexander stood crossed arms as a flash of jealousy ate him up within him as he clenched his fists but remained in posture. His eyes followed Eliza everywhere, his heart slipping whenever he heard her laugh, her shy giggles when someone gave her extra attention, it should be him and no one else. 

Pierre Van Cortland, Alexander glared at the man with a tight look as he could feel his face growing red and ears steaming. Oh, he didn’t verbally meet the man but Alexander felt a strong amount of hatred for him already... Alexander eyed how the man draped his hand on his wife’s waist, making her laugh as Alexander knew he might start fuming over there within seconds. Finally, after holding it for so long, the night came to an end for most as people began leaving as Alexander rushed to his wife’s side as he took her by surprise.

Eliza was standing near the balcony with Pierre, exchanging stories before jumping as Alexander came out of no where as poor Pierre looked startled, “Colonel Hamilton.” 

“Mr. Van Cortlandt, how are you?” Alexander offered his hand, however, Pierre only looked down at it confused as it felt like a slap in the face and crushed Alexander’s pride in seconds. Eliza looked in between them, feeling Alexander’s arm wrapped around her waist from the behind while Pierre blinked, releasing her hands as he murmured out to her, pretending as if Alexander wasn’t there, 

“I’ll hopefully write to you soon, my dear friend,” and with that, he kissed her hand one last time, Alexander almost saw red while Eliza only smiled fondly at him before he went off. 

“Eliza,” Alexander muttered, suddenly reality hit her hard as Eliza looked up at him with a little frown before going ahead of him. Alexander blinked before going after her, “Eliza!” 

The carriage ride back home was longer than she had expected as she sat with him, in a quiet argument and exchange between them until they got home. Once they arrived, Alexander tipped the coachman while Eliza hurried to the front door. She knew what was coming and she was ready for the hurricane to come past, sighing to herself with a shake of her head as she opened the front door with the spare keys. 

She went inside and soon, Alexander came right after her, closing the door as he called out, “Eliza.” 

“Alexander,” she mumbled as she went to the stairs, 

“What do you think you were doing with him?” He said, something about his tone that made her blood boil as she turned to glare at him,

”Pardon me?” She pressed, putting her hands on her waist, leaning forward as she was unaware of her chest revealing before him. “Is there something you want to say, I was merely talking to a old friend.” 

“More like fawning over another man,” he hissed, stepping forward as Eliza stood her ground before groaning with an eye roll when he glanced down at her chest. 

“Alexander,” she muttered, he looked back at her with narrowed eyes, 

“He had his hands all over you, Eliza,” he snarked, Eliza shook her head and glanced to the side, 

“We were dancing, Alexander,” she grumbled, she was growing tired of this silly excuse for an argument before her eyes fell wide, her face flushed red with rage as she looked at him sharp in the eye as his hand lingered on her arm before turning into a light grasp, 

“And he would have wanted to dance his way with you into bed,” he hissed, his voice low and angry, the rage brimming in his eyes as Eliza slipped her arm away from his grasp easily,

”Don’t you dare lecture me about that, Mr. Hamilton,” she snapped, seeing a flickering in his eyes as he backed away but his brows narrowed farther. “We both know who is most likely to fall into the bed of another, or bring someone else to their own, without a hesitating thought-,”

”I will have you stop right there, Betsey,” Alexander cried as his eyes turned glossy, Eliza stepped back, wanting to scream and yell him for even thinking he was the one betrayed of this union, the hurt within her prevented her doing so.

“Mr. Hamilton,” she began, seeing the pain and anger in his eyes mixed with confusion as she knew her words might feel like poison at this point. “If you excuse me,”

Eliza turned away, but Alexander caught her arm again in a light grip that could easily be broken with a swipe of an arm. Eliza groaned, knowing that no matter how angry they were, one will never harm the other. She turned to look at him, the mixture of rage falling thin as she sighed heavily, looking away, “Let go, Alexander.” 

“I won’t lose you to him, Betsey,” Alexander murmured but complied as he released her without question, looking up at her with a pining glint in his eyes as she chose to ignore it as her imagination, 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Eliza mumbled quietly, shaking her head as she went up the stairs as she barely felt his eyes on behind her as Alexander longed for her to just come back into his arms.

He missed her so much and he knew this argument was silly but over, he just wanted to kiss her and make up like the use to... but this argument was linked to the moral wound he stricken upon her that need more than a kiss and a “I’m sorry” for her to say those three sweet words to him while he carried to bed. He watched her made her way to the top of the steps before she looked down at him with a grim look with glossy eyes, 

“There is no one and will never be anyone.” She whispered, with a small choke in her words as a frail smile came on her face as Alexander’ heart shattered when fat tears rolled down her cheek,

“Betsey-,” he climbed onto a step to reach for her,

“Goodnight, Alexander,” Eliza quickly said, brushing the treats from her face as she hurried down the hall as she ignored her husband’s pleads, 

“Betsey Wait!” 

* * *

Pierre knocked on the door of his evening host’s front door, a flush of embarrassment flooded his face as a servant girl opened the door for him with a surprised look, “May I help you, sir?” She asked, looking a little tired, 

“I was at the party, ma’am,” he quickly said as she nodded her head, 

“Yes, yes, I know,” she nodded, opening the door wider. “I served you a few times, something wrong?” 

“I’m afraid I left my father’s prize buttons by the balcony,” he said, his face growing more red as he let out an awkward laugh as the girl smiled fondly at him as she let him in,

”Right this way then,” she said as Pierre couldn’t be more relief, 

“I’ll be quick,” he promised as he went to the a room and turned to the balcony, where a glittering light caught his eyes as he sighed in relief. He stepped forward and retrieved his golden buttons that were handed down to him from his father as he mentally smacked himself for his klutziness.

Before he made his leave like promised, his eyes caught on a blue-green shawl that draped on the railings. He blinked and took it upon his whole,

“This is...” he began before his eyes grew wide as a childlike smile formed on his lips. “Betsey’s.” 

He sighed and folded it neatly before tucking it under his arms, walking from the balcony and back to the halls as he nodded his head to the girl with another one of his quirky smiles, “Thank you and I apologize if I caused any harm.” 

“No harm done, I assure you sir,” she nodded before greeting him out. “Good evening sir.” 

“Yes, you too, ma’am-,” he was cut off abruptly when the door slammed on him. He sighed at the cold air before going back to his carriage with a little sigh as he looked down at the shawl. A hopeful smile spread on his face as he ruffled his auburn hair in delight, 

“Tomorrow,” he decided, before going back to his carriage. 

It was a nice nice evening for some people, though, one might wonder on what will happen next. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pierre is a sweetie here. The man married quite late in life, he married his first wife in 1800. However, she past away eleven years after their marriage, took about another two years for him to find love again and h married his second wife in 1813. However, she died thirteen years later and he lived on for another twenty odd years. 
> 
> Poor guy.


	2. Chapter 2

The ray of sunlight danced through the dim curtains of the bedroom as Eliza’s eyes fluttered open as she let out a small sigh. She laid on her back, a little upwards on her pillows as she glanced at the window to only see light and morning breeze brushed on her face, considering she left the windows open. There was a heavy weight on her chest, Eliza looked down to see it was her husband’s arm that laid across her chest. Looking over, Eliza found Alexander still asleep, remembering their argument that had her burst into tears the night before. 

Closing he eyes, she pushed back against the mattress as the blanket was now draped bellow her waist. She laid a free hand on her stomach and she found her other arm under Alexander’s head as her hand was buried in his hair. She felt his other arm under her backside as his heavy hand laid on top of her head as Eliza wondered how she didn’t notice it before. A flash of memories flooded her head as she remembered when she came into the bedroom, she grabbed her nightgown from the wardrobe, ignoring her husband’s words and pleads to let him explain his feelings. 

Eliza felt selfish now, sighing quietly as she remembered brushing past him and going into the bathroom to change. She ignored him for a while, emerging from the bathroom twenty minutes later and was immediately followed around by her husband as if he were a lonely lost child. His soft words, his endless apologies, Eliza remember giving into him and let him sleep with her in bed and let him hold her, kiss her, she kissed back and he whispered sweet words in her ear, that would have made her giggle and smiled shyly but only made her sick in her stomach this time. 

Eliza doesn’t remember how long she laid there, how long she waited for something to happen or for her to find the strength to get up. Her mind flooded around for a while, before she heard Alexander mumbling something as he awoke up, 

“Good morning,” she softly said, glancing away as she felt his lips on her temples. 

“Good morning,” he murmured, his voice hoarse as he got up, withdrawing his arm off her chest as Eliza finally sat up. She felt his eyes on her but she paid no mind, reaching for her dressing gown as she got up, pushing her long dark hair behind her. 

Alexander last on the edge of his side of the bed, looking over his shoulder with a small yet underserving smile on his face that was thin and unnoticeable. He watched how the sunlight’s rays reflected on Eliza as she got ready for the day, God she looked like an angel that he always referred her as or perhaps more so of goddess. One who he knew he didn’t deserve. 

He watched her for a good moment before turning away to get up and get ready himself, still glancing at her as Eliza _try_ to remain oblivious. His eyes followed her when she left the bedroom to check on the children, Alexander finally released a sigh as guilt washed back inside again. He did regretted the affair, every part of it and he wished so badly that he could go back in time and refused any offers Maria Reynolds offered him. God, he was a moron and he knew he had taken his poor, precious wife, his angel, his sweet Betsey for granted and he hated himself for it. 

He did regret publishing the Reynolds Pamphlet, it might have saved him to remain honest to he public eyes but God, many suffered because of him. In his case, his Eliza and children had to carry the painful reminder and embarrassment fir the rest of their lives because of him. Alexander shook his head, going into the bathroom, closing the door behind him before pressing his back against the door as he smacked himself in the face rather roughly as he growled at his own stupidity. 

Eliza had every right to hate him, to leave him and to question him, but did he had the right to question her? Not one bit. 

“What is wrong with you, Hamilton,” Alexander hissed as he stormed to mirror in the bathroom, slashing water on his face from the bowl that was present all night. Droplets dropped from the tip of his ginger curls, that his wife fondly referred as his lion mane, Alexander blinked back frustrated tears from the corner of his eyes as he snarled to himself. 

What was wrong with him? 

Alexander sighed as he looked back at the mirror to meet his reflection, his conscious wavering and in the back of his mind he felt like his reflection was mocking him as he closed his eyes and for a moment he saw black. It was then he met his self conscious, a persona of himself nitpicking every on of his flaws: 

_“Worthless scumbag of a human being.”_

_“The man who ruined it all for his own family.”_

_“The husband who made his wife’s entire life a living hell.”_

_“Perhaps set her free?”_ A gentler voice said in his head, it sounded a lot like his mother’s with a French accent tickling through. ” _Prove that you love her and give her a clear divorce, let her find love again?”_

“No,” he firmly muttered as he opened his eyes again, his reflection looking back at him as he shook his head. “No... I can’t.” 

He can’t... he can’t let his Betsey go. Selfish? Yes, but he still loves her, he still needed her and he just can’t let her go. 

* * *

Eliza sighed, smiling a little as she bounced baby William in her arms as the boy giggled and snuggled into his mama. He was a very demanding baby, even more so than Philip, Alex, and James combined as his three eldest brothers all were quite demanding of her attention back when they were infants. Angie and John were the more peaceful babies, they giggled and laughed more than they cried. William laughed too, but only when he was with his mama and no one else, the closest being Angie though. 

Eliza sat on the soft chair in the parlour, bouncing little William in her arms as he cooed and grinned up at her, Eliza looked down into his eyes as she wondered where he received such light coloured diamonds for eyes. Most certainly not from her and Alexander’s were a violet-blue, perhaps someone in their extended bloodline? 

William shrieked, causing her to jump a little before looking down at him as she giggled in retaliation that her son was trying to regain her attention on him again. 

“Aw, Baby,” she cooed, kissing his brow as William giggled happily as he snuggled into her again. “My sweet baby.” 

As she said those words, there was a knock on the door and she saw Angie paced across the doorway, calling out, “I’ll get it!” 

Eliza, however, stood up to ensure to supervise in case something happened as she made her way to the doorway while cradling her son in her arms. William whined every now and then, but Eliza gently hushed and hummed the lullaby to him as he eased down, 

“Hello, sir, are you here for.. um,” she heard Angie hesitate, sparking concern in Eliza before she froze as her daughter made out with a stutter, “Papa?” 

Eliza winced, she could hear the cringe in her daughter’s voice and the flash of embarrassment and shame in Angie’s tone. Her usually cheerful and shy girl was hesitating on referring to her own father was like a knife piercing into Eliza’s heart. Neither the less, Eliza splotched the parlour’s doorway to see Angie talking to a nicely dressed man, 

“Oh, I uh, no, young lady,” Eliza’s eyes widen, her ears perked as she recognized the voice. “I am a friend of your mother’s, is she here!” 

She saw Angie’s posture immediately change, her daughter excitedly bouncing as it made Eliza quietly giggle fondly at her girl’s happiness. She heard the man laugh with the same amount of fondness as Angie drew the door wide as she exclaimed, “Yes, she right-,” Angie looked over her shoulder and met her mama’s warm smile as she grinned, “Mama!” 

“My sweet girl and my,” Eliza stepped forward as she met the man’s eyes, “Pierre!” 

There he was, auburn haired and adorably awkward Pierre as he stepped into the house with flushed cheeks and shy grin as he first kissed Angie’s little hand on the back as he did with very woman out of sheer politeness. The gesture made her daughter giggle as she drew her hand away and curtsied as Pierre played along as he bowed down dramatically as it provoked a laugh from both mother and daughter, 

“Thank you for your assistance, young lady,” Pierre announced as he closed the door for her. 

“My greatest pleasure, sir!” Angie hummed, before going over and hugged her mother’s waist as Eliza caressed her daughter’s hair with a warm grin, 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Eliza hummed, adjusting William as her baby babbled something gibberish. “Go play, alright?” 

Angie nodded and went off with a big smile, ignoring her own woes about her father within seconds as it left Eliza to meet eyes with friendly Pierre. 

“Hello, Pierre,” Eliza warmly said with a hint of childlike innocence. “Would you like a cup of tea?” 

“That would be nice, yes please,” Pierre nodded with flushed cheeks as he followed her into the parlour. Eliza looked over her shoulder with a grin, before bending over as Pierre’s eyes went wide as he immediately withdrew his eyes away as he internally pardoned himself. Eliza rested William into the cradle, her son still babbling away as he looked up at her with a crooked grin. 

“I’ll be right back,” Eliza said, looking at Pierre again as he made himself comfortable as he nodded his head with a gentle look in his eyes. “Call me if my son troubles you.” 

“I’m sure it wouldn’t come to that,” Pierre said but nodded out of pure respect as Eliza offered him an adoring smile. 

He was still that adorably, gangly little boy that followed her around when they were children as it lighten up her heart once again. With that, offering one last smile, Eliza went out of the parlour with a skip in her steps as a sudden wave of happiness flooded inside. She had a friend to talk to again, it felt so nice! 

Pierre sat alone, glancing at cradle while he patiently waited for Eliza to come back with a tea tray when he tended when William began sniffing. Looking over, Pierre slowly got out of seat to ensure the infant was alright as he got close enough to see the boy’s eyes were watering, 

“Oh,” he stammered as he hovered over the cradle as William opened his mouth to wail, Pierre immediately dived down to reach him. “It’s alright, mama is coming soon.” 

* * *

Alexander sighed, finishing up the last of his essay before getting out of his seat. He wanted to see if Eliza and the children were alright, going out of his office to find them. He went down the hall, reaching the steps as Philip walks up past him, 

“Morning, Pip-,” Alexander began but his son only murmured, 

“Hello, father.” His son’s voice was dull and almost unreal, especially the fact that his boy never called him ‘father’ before but always ‘papa’ or ‘pa’. Alexander sighed, watching Philip wall past him, not acknowledging any farther as he continued to make his way downstairs. 

Alexander nowadays kept his office door open to allow any one of his family members to come in and so far, only John or Eliza comes in with two different intentions. John wanted to play and spent time with his papa, which Alexander was grateful for that one of his children still saw him as their ‘papa’ and not their ‘sire’. Eliza comes in to give him his breakfast, lunch, or dinner and chat with him for a while as Alexander began treasuring her even more nowadays. He prayed that one day, he will be worthy of her love and affection again but right now, he knew he didn’t deserve the title life being her lawfully wedded husband. 

Reaching the bottom of the steps, he thought he saw Angie dashing into the corner, as if hiding from him as a verge of worry filled his mind. Was his sweet girl frighten of his presence? 

It wasn’t until John’s giggles were heard as he came around, calling for his big sister and heard Angie’s giggling, “Angie! Angie! Angie! I am going to find you!” 

“Oh, they are only playing a game,” Alexander sighed in relief, smiling a little as he turned to enter the parlour as he knew Eliza will be there. 

“Betsey, are you-,” he began but stopped dead track of what he saw next. “What are doing?” 

His tone was low and demanding, there, right before him was Pierre Van Cortland cradling baby William in his arms as the infant giggled most happily. Pierre froze, he stopped bouncing around and making little voices towards the baby as he looked up with wide eyes, 

“Colonel Hamilton,” he began, blinking back in surprise before smiling as he looked down at the coping baby. “I was just entertaining your son. He is such a good boy-,” 

“Why are you even here?” Alexander questioned again, narrowing his brows as a whirled of insecurities filled inside him. 

William was never happy in his own father’s arms, he always wailed and cried whenever he was placed into Alexander’s arms no matter how much his father tried to please him. He only cooed and behaved in his mama’s and big sister’s embrace and never in his father’s. But here, Pierre was easily attaining William’s full attention and adoration as Alexander stood gaping with a touch of hurt. 

“Oh, well,” Pierre stopped for a moment, before trying to say it on the most shuttle and respecting way, “I was merely here to visit a friend.” 

“My wife,” Alexander poked, glancing down at his son. “And where is she at the moment, dear sir?” 

“Right here,” Eliza came beside him with a tray of the tea set as she looked at her husband with a confused look in her eyes. It was as if he caught someone in a lie and wanted them to confess to a crime, “Alexander, are you alright?” 

Alexander blinked before looking at Pierre as he stood awkwardly before going back to look down at the babbling William, “I’m fine, dear.” Alexander mumbled, glancing over at the other man in spite. 

Eliza sighed, before looking back at William and Pierre as she grinned widely as she entered the parlour, placing the tea set on the nearby table, “I believe Willy took a liking in you, Pierre, isn’t that right, Alexander?” 

She looked back at her ginger ginger haired husband with a warm smile, Alexander crosses his arms with a soft look in his eyes as he nodded, “Yes, so it appears.” 

“Well, he is such a delight,” Pierre chuckled as he bounced the infant around again before offering him to Alexander. 

Alexander immediately went over to retrieve his boy but as soon as he held William... the baby started wailing on the top of his lungs. The trio of adults looked startled at the sudden change of behaviour as Eliza immediately went over to see what was the matter, 

“I-I’m sorry, did I rush him too much?” Pierre panicked, Alexander blinked before trying to ease his boy, 

“He must be hungry,” Eliza suggested as Alexander nodded, offering their son to her but as soon as he gave William to Eliza, the baby fell quiet instantly. 

“Oh, my,” Pierre blinked, a little astonished and a bit guilty as he looked at Alexander apologetically. 

Alexander blinked and gasped at the sight, looking down at his boy before tears brimmed in his eyes. “Oh.., alright.” 

“I’m...” Eliza looked down at her son with wide eyes before panicking as she looked in between the two men as her husband offered a crooked smile, “Alexander, I’m-,” 

“Sorry,” he cut in, looking down sadly. “I’ll leave you to it.” 

With that, Alexander left as Eliza shook her head and went after him, 

“Alexander, Wait!” 

Pierre was left alone in the parlour as he sighed, knowing full well that Eliza won’t be coming back any time soon. Glancing down at the tea set, he smiled lightly, 

“Perhaps another time.” 

And with that, he dug from the inside of his coat and pulled out a folded shawl and draped it onto one of the soft chairs. His fingers brushed against it for a brief moment before he withdrew his hand away. 

“Until another time, Betsey,” he mumbled fondly before he left. 

He past the wedding portrait of Alexander and Eliza in the hall, stopping for a moment to admire it before gently brushing finger on it, “Could that ever be me?” 

Whether he asked that in way that he might one day get married or for something else, it was yet to wait to receive an actual answer. Not now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go!


	3. Chapter 3

A week past since Pierre visited The Hamiltons, quite the off outcome afterwards but Alexander and Eliza remained occupied in a way. Usually, Eliza will try to distract herself by tending the children and try to bring back colour into the household, nearly succeeding as Alex and James caused little mischief every now and then... though, she encouraged the boys and Angie to at least start talking to their father again but to no avail. She and Alexander are trying to rebuild their relationship again, the amount of times he profess his love was everlasting and true, Eliza wanted to believe him. She so very much does, that she was his everything like he said she was while he tenderly hold her, caress her, kiss her, and his most endless apologies and promises. 

She wanted to forget the hurt, she wanted to forget her husband’s infidelity toward her, she wanted to forget the name Maria Reynolds so badly. But unfortunately, the name stung like and smeared in the story of The Hamilton’s forever, that will never go away. Eliza often wondered if she could have prevented this to ever happen, wondering every now or then that she wasn’t a good wife, a lacking lover perhaps?

Eliza sighed, shaking out of her thoughts as she prepared a tray of dinner for her husband. The kitchen was merely empty, Old Peggy laid curled up on a blanket near the far corner with her tail wagging every now or then. Eliza glanced down at the hound, shaking her head fondly to see Old Peggy already finished her dinner from her favourite bowl: beef turkey. The dog stuck her tongue, almost looking like she was licking her lips as it made Eliza laugh as her fond happiness took the dog’s full attention as Old Peggy got up, tail swishing back and forth only to she her mistress turning back to the tray on the counter. 

Eliza’s smile remained as her light happiness faded slowly but her fondness remained. She tended the tray, a bowl of hot soup, loads of bread, peas & carrots, mashed potatoes was all rested on the wooden tray. Eliza smiled, satisfied at the hardy meal she cooked up for her family. Her children already ate and her in bed with their stomach full, her husband ate a little during dinner but Eliza knew he was saving up in a poor diet that he believes he needed to lose weight. Quite silly, really, Eliza wasn’t going leave him hungry for the night or for any other nights to come. 

“Oh, the cutlery,” Eliza sighed with a thin grin, turning to the drawers, away from the counter as she barely noticed Old Peggy paddling after her. 

It was only when Eliza turned to look down before letting out a small shriek, feeling Old Peggy bucked her from the behind as it resulted her to fall on all four. Old Peggy yapped excitedly, Eliza made a low groan through a tired laugh as she rolled on top of her back against the tiled floor before letting out a cry through fits of laughter when the hound pounced and licking her mistress’ face.

”No! No! Stop it! Please!” Eliza cried, through smiles and tears of giggles, stroking the dog’s fur. 

* * *

Alexander’s eyes widen as he fell alert, jumping to his feet as he paled. He heard Eliza’s shrieks, the children were still out cold in their slumber, but Eliza’s constant crying “ _No! No! Stop it! Please!”_ were still echoing downstairs as a wave of horror filled inside him. 

_‘She’s being attacked?!’_ Alexander concluded as he raced around his desk, thinking an intruder broke in and that his Betsey had fallen into the victims of the So-called intruder’s hands. Alexander practically flew down the stairs, fear washing inside him and his blood boiling at the thought that someone was causing his Betsey harm. He needed to save her. 

Turning to hear where his Betsey’s cries were coming from, he turned to wear the kitchen was and was prepared to start a fight, clenching his fists. With that, the ginger haired lion charged down the hall, slipping into the kitchen before stumbling forward as his jaws hung open at the sight that was presented to him.

”Betsey?” Alexander blinked, astonished as he eased his posture with a crooked look of confusion before flushing red with embarrassment. 

“Alexander!” Eliza cried, her eyes fell wide as she was now back on all fours and playing with Old Peggy, giving the dog a belly rub as she also turned into a shade of red with a tiny smile. “Did I alarm you?” 

“Uh, yes,” Alexander straighten up, glancing sideways with a small chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “I, uh, thought you were getting attacked.” 

“Oh my,” Eliza gasped, finishing up the little rub for Old Peggy before fighting her way back to her feet through her gown. “I am so sorry, I was just-,” 

“It’s fine,” Alexander replied, going over, hooking his hands beneath her elbows as he hoisted her up. Eliza’s back accidentally went against his hard chest as the pair stopped for a second before glancing at each other with a hint of pink dust on their cheeks through the starlight from the windowsill. Alexander cleared his through, his arm awkwardly lingered around her waist as Eliza smiled a little at him that felt so familiar to him as their rocky patch was still in the mix of healing yet she placed a gentle hand on his forearm. 

“I believe,” Alexander began, looking down at Old Peggy as the dog’s eyes shined mischievously. “Our culprit is right before us, Betsey.” 

“Who, she?” Eliza playfully gasped, covering her mouth before scratching the dog behind her ears once Alexander’s hold loosen around her that allowed her to break free. “No, Old Peggy is a good girl, right honey?” 

Her reply was a happy bark before the golden haired dog happily went back to her blanket in the corner. Eliza smiled warmly at the sight as Alexander rested a hand on his hips, a tiny grin of his own, “Alright, perhaps she isn’t all that guilty.”

“She never was,” Eliza mused as she made her way to quickly rinse her hands and dried them with a towel, before retrieving a spoon, a knife, and a fork from the drawer. Alexander glanced at the tray filled with a steaming hot bowl of soup, bread, vegetables, and massed potatoes.

”Late night dinner?” Alexander smiled as he approached behind her as Eliza went back to the counter, placing the cutlery on the tray in a neat and orderly fashion. 

“For you,” Eliza hummed as Alexander blinked in surprise, even more touched than before as Eliza continued on to being him food to his office or such. 

“You really shouldn’t had-,” he began but Eliza let out a small, exaggerated sigh before poking his cheek as it took him by surprised, 

“Oh no, I must,” she insisted, placing a hand on her hips. “You are getting thinner and losing all the colour from your cheeks, Alexander from that poor diet of yours.” 

Alexander blinked before defending himself, “Why, Betsey, look at me!” He gestured to his belly, that was slightly poking out. “I am growing-,” 

“You are not fat, Alexander,” Eliza cut in. “But even if you were, I will love you no less.” 

That took him even more surprise as all the words from his mouth immediately we’re loss as he stared at her in awe as tears pricked in his eyes. Eliza froze, realizing what she just said as she looked away while biting her lips with flushed cheeks and a little sigh. 

“You still... love me?” Alexander felt a wash of hope rise up in his heart, for the first time she had directly said it in his face after months that... she still loved him through her own words. 

Eliza swallowed a small breathe with a little smile, looking back at him with a little nod of reassurance, “Yes, Alexander, I do still love you and I know, I’ll always will.” 

Something shined in his eyes, Eliza thought he might look he might cry as she looked back at his meal before taking the tray and presented it for him, “Now.” She said a matter factor. “Time to eat.” 

Alexander blinked, looking down with a frozen smile before laughing nervously as he looked back at her, “Uh, Betsey, I already-,” 

“A loaf of bread is no meal, Alexander,” Eliza insisted, Old Peggy howled in agreement. “See, even Old Peggy has a say in it.” 

Alexander blinked before gesturing to thee house pet, “She’s a dog, Betsey.” 

“And a Hamilton,” Eliza needled in as Alexander sighed, nodding slightly, “Now stop arguing and eat.” 

She pressured him into the dining room, forcing him to sit, Alexander feel into a chair as Eliza presented his dinner before him. 

“Eat.” She commanded, crossing her arms with a firm look in her eyes as Alexander pouted, 

“But-,” he began but fell quiet at her stares. 

There was a small silence between them before Eliza sighed, soften a little before she leaned down and broke a piece of bread, dipped in the hot bowl of soup as Alexander looked at her in surprise as she presented it near his mouth. 

“Eat,” she said again, a bit more softly this time as her dark eyes twinkled beautifully as she smiled at him. “For me.” 

Alexander looked down at the bread, damped with soup and back at the beautiful angel before him. A second later, he obediently took the bite, taking it whole as Eliza grinned fondly at him. Alexander sighed heavily, glancing up at her with a tight smile as the delicious bite went down in ease. 

To say the least, Alexander ate a wonderful meal that night... 

* * *

Eliza smiled at the sweet letter that Pierre written her, she revived it in the following morning with the rest of the mail. Her husband received stacks of letters from colleagues, members from congress, and mere allies, he offered to read them out loud to her as he assured he had nothing to hide from her. It was a way for him to try and rebuild her trust again as Eliza found it very touching that he cared that much. However, when it came to Pierre’s letter, Alexander was a little antsy as Eliza offered him to take a look to assure him that she also had nothing to hide, he surprisingly refused, 

“The night I suggested any ill of your loyalty to me was dreadfully out of character and I should never had questioned it in the first place, my love,” he told her as Eliza opened her mouth to reply, he immediately added on, “I had no right to suggest anything of you with another man, especially whom you consider a mere friend after what I did. I am still very sorry of what I did.” 

It almost brought tears to her eyes as she found herself bringing into a kiss and an embrace that he welcomed wholeheartedly. After a lot of pain, though it was still there, it felt nice and warm to just hold him again so easily. 

Anyhow, though Alexander felt a little insecure of Pierre’s affection, Eliza found the letter sweet and simple filled with friendly adoration. Unaware the true tensions of the letter as she placed it with the rest of her letters in a box, that are filled with those from her closest of friends and family. 

Right now, Alexander was reading the newspaper in the drawing room while Eliza stood on a stool to open the curtains. A mischievous smirk pulled on the lion’s face as he looked from his paper, taking full view of his wife’s behind as Eliza didn’t notice until she looked over shoulder to comment on the bright, sunny day outside as she caught him quickly looking back at the papers with a cheeky grin. Eliza’s mouth drew open with a smile, hoisting her hands on her hips, 

“Alexander,” she sighed with a small chuckle and shake of her head, he was still that cheeky young man that she still loved with all her heart. 

“Yes, darling,” he fluttered his lashes innocently and before Eliza could have a say, the door knocked. 

“I’ll get it, mama!” Philip called, the teenager passing the drawing room with a small smirk on his lips towards his mother but quickly drew his eyes away from his father as Alexander sighed sadly. Eliza bit her lips, offering him a tiny smile of her own as Alexander looked at her graciously, knowing full well he didn’t deserve her. 

The pair heard the door open, Philip exclaimed, “Doctor Hosack! Hello!” 

“Hello, my good young man,” the friendly voice of the young doctor exclaimed, Alexander shared a look with Eliza as she nodded in encouragement to go greet his friend. 

With thar, Alexander got out of his seat and made his way out, down the hall as he met eyes with Philip for a brief moment until the boy looked away as if trying to be oblivious. 

“Thank you, Philip,” Alexander softly said as Philip only nodded, still not looking and disappeared around the corner. Alexander sighed, before looking up at met eyes with Dr. David Hosack, the man closing the door behind him. 

“David!” Alexander went over to give his friend a light handshake and a side hug as Dr. Hosack chuckled a little with a sheer spark in his light eyes, 

“Alexander, in been a short while,” the widower doctor pointed. “I see the colours regained inside you, you been rather pale and thin lately.” 

“Well, Eliza had been making sure I been eating right and suggested I go for a walk with her, every now and then,” Alexander chuckled with a flash of red in his face as Dr. Hosack grinned encouragingly. 

“You listen to that wife of yours, man,” he said as they made their way down the hall. There was thin shiver going down his spine before he added on, “I wish I did it more often when my Catherine was still with me.” 

Alexander paused, looking over at his dear friend, a patch of sympathy for the the young doctor who was emerging in his late twenties. The poor doctor had took a drastic turn on his practice, doing anything he could to tend women and their children, ever since his wife tragically died during the delivery of their infant who also died in the process of the painful labor. It only happened a year prior and the young doctor seemed to age five years ahead through grief. 

“My regards are always with you, my friend,” Alexander urged as Dr. Hosack nodded, 

“Thank you,” His tone slight changed, looking at Alexander as if a little unsure but for something else. 

“Doctor?” Eliza’s sweet voice called from the drawing room as both men entered eagerly to see her still on the stool and leaning a little forward, she immediately smiled at the sight of them. “Oh, it is so nice of you to visit!” 

“Indeed, it is a pleasure to see you again, ma’am,” Dr. Hosack announced, his eyes lighten up but as Alexander observed his expression, the man felt his heart rate pace faster.

Eliza, however, smiled, looking away to tend the curtains for a moment, “Have seat, both of you,” she insisted, looking over her shoulders. “I’ll have tea ready in a moment.”

“Thank you, Betsey.”

“Yes, Thank you.” 

Eliza smiled warmly at them an prepared to get down. Alexander looked at his friend with suspicion as the doctor’s eyes remain in bliss towards Eliza... not that he blamed him, but it didn’t feel right. A cold sweat went down Alexander’s neck as he watched a small exchange and smiled between his wife and friend, while he made his way to his seat. 

“Just give me a moment, gentleman,” Eliza insisted, Dr. Hosack stood near the windowsill to admire the weather outside... or so he claimed. However when Eliza tried to step down, her skirt got caught and she found herself tipped forward, “Oh dear God-,” 

Her cries caught both men’s attention as Alexander stood up fast and flew forward but stoped in mid track as he blinked astonished. Eliza’s eyes were squeezed shut, her arms flung over her saviour, being caught in a pair of strong arms as she slowly opened her eyes before turning scarlet as she looked up to meet the doctor’s eyes. 

“Um,” Dr. Hosack blinked, cradling her in his arms with a hint of red in his cheeks before settling her down. 

“Thank you,” Eliza softly said as the doctor only nodded, looking at her whole with a warm grin. 

At that moment, Dr. Hosack felt something wake inside him before suppressing it when Alexander went to hold Eliza as she nuzzled into him, pressing a reassuring kiss on his cheek to ensure she was fine. It felt so wrong to feel jealous of a married woman showing open affection toward her own husband, Dr. Hosack turned a blind eye as he tried to pay no mind at the swarming ache within him. 

He met Alexander’s eyes, a knowing glare within them as Dr. Hosack watched the man hold his wife in a embrace as h held her closer than before. Dr. Hosack stood still before offering a little, pitting smile and looked away with a smug flicker in his eyes. 

So, perhaps he could find a new reason to be happy once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Presenting Dr. David Hosack, a close friend to Hamiltons and tended Philip on twice occasions. Once was soothing Philip’s high fever that almost killed him and the second time is tending him after his fatal duel... that killed him. He was also the doctor who was with Hamilton when he was shot in his duel too and tending him then as well.
> 
> The man married three times, his first wife dying a year prior to the pamphlet due to complication in their second’s child delivery and none of their children survived infancy. He married again after I believe, two years and had nine children (seven who survived adulthood). Unfortunately his second wife also pass away, he then married a widow with seven children of her own as they lived as a joint family. 14 kids in total.


	4. Chapter 4

The city was quite loud, like usual as a paperboy swooshed their arms up in the air, calling out “Newspaper! Get your fresh news!” on the top their lungs. Carriages pulled in every directions, markets were filled, the people were chattering away, their were debates in every direction as Eliza remembered when she was young of how she and her two closest sisters went downtown in Albany for a little fun. She smiled at the memories, of how she, Peggy, and Angelica were once young girls going downtown, to find a little fun in listening to debates, talking to people, and perhaps have a flirt or two with any young lad who shown any cheeky interest in them. Alexander stopped abruptly as she looked up at him, out of a fond thought as she gaze at him with a gentle but questioning stare, he offered a thin smile, 

“I am going to purchase a paper, my dear girl,” he told her as Eliza slipped her arm from under his elbow with a little nod, 

“Of course, Alexander,” Eliza replied with a soft look and smile broadly, Alexander kissed her hands as he promised to take only a mere second. 

Now, standing to the aside as she watched him go up to the paperboy, Eliza turned her eyes for a moment before looking back to see Alexander getting caught up in a few words with two young ladies, both blonde and beautiful. A patch of waves of worry filled inside her again, Eliza’s eyes went wide as she saw the smile of her husband’s face while he tossed a coin to the young boy, who nearly whooped. The young ladies were the exact imaging that she thought that Ms. Maria looked like: Young, beautiful, blonde, clear skinned, refreshing appearance that made Eliza feel that her husband’s infidelity was justifiable given as she looked at her reflection in one of the shop’s clear glass window. 

Eliza felt... average. 

She was no near a beauty in her eyes, being with Alexander made her feel beautiful inside but now, she felt disgusting. When she was young, her father and mother complemented her kind soul and her dark eyes, her simple beauty was enough to win someone’s heart. However, when she was a growing girl, her Grandmother murmured that she worried that she might grow into a spinster. Eliza felt it hit her hard to her heart, keeping it with her, suppressing it over the years as she still remembered her mother lashing out on her own mother for saying such thing. Eliza sighed, looking to the side with a thin, defeated smile on her lips, 

“May you Rest In Peace, grandmother,” she mumbled, fiddling with her hands.

”She was quite something,” Eliza was startled as she heard a voice behind her, looking over as her smile grew a little brighter and genuine as she saw Pierre tipped his hat and offered her a big grin. “She once pulled my big brother’s ear for stealing some sweets in the kitchen in our youth, remember? Philip stills says that his left ear never been the same since.”

Eliza giggled behind her hands, shaking her head fondly at the renewed memory of Pierre’s poor older brother’s woes, “How I could I forget? How is Philip?” 

“He still acts like he is a young boy,” Pierre replied with a warm look in his green eyes. “You know he never was the settlement type.” 

“He made a few advances on the girl’s in our old friend circle,” Eliza shook her head with a smirk that soon faded when Pierre kissed her hand, 

“No, he only tried to make an advance on you,” Pierre replied, Eliza raised a brow as she thought back to makes sure she or he was midtown. “Philip always has been quite sweet on you since you were a pretty, little girl and from my recent letters from him, he is still always talking about your beauty resembling of a Goddess.... not that I blame him, though.” 

“I... he is too kind,” Eliza blinked with a surprised smile now resting on her face. “Please, sent him my regards. He and yourself are quite good in flattering my spirits.” 

“Eliza,” Pierre gently urged with a soft look in his eyes, Eliza blinked as it appears that he was looking at the face and in the mercy and pleat of a goddess. “I want you to know that all my brothers and most of my cousins were very infatuated with you in our youth and I am pretty sure most of us still are.” 

Eliza blinked, her face flushed red as she choked on a nervous laugh, “Pierre, I don’t-,” 

“I know,” Pierre sighed a little sadly as Eliza felt a pit of worry, resting a hand on his arm to attempts of comfort to him. “You must understand that I always and will forever will deem you the most beautiful girl in my life. A beautiful fantasy world where things were different.” 

Eliza felt like she was dreaming, was Pierre making a love confession, impossible? Why would he be interested in someone like her? 

Pierre kisses her hands one last time, “I hope to see you soon, my dear friend.” 

“Good-,” Eliza watched the rather flushed face man past by her as she only stared in shock, trying to process everything. “bye... Pierre.” 

“Betsey?” 

Eliza looked over to see Alexander before her with wide eyes before looking down the busy streets where Pierre went down on, “Was that Van Cortlandt?” 

“Yes, it was,” Eliza blinked, replying with no hesitation at all in the matter as she followed his eyes before looking at him in whole again. Alexander had the paper clenched in his hands, looking deeply in her eyes before offering her his arm as she took it. 

“What did he say?” Alexander asked, trying not to urge. 

“We spoke about our childhood, he confessed he was sweet on me in our youth... perhaps he still is,” Eliza said, feeling like she should be honest right now as Alexander nearly fell flat on his face as he stumbled a little had she not hold him in place. 

“Excuse me?” Alexander quietly exclaimed, leading her down to the parks instead any farther into the depths of the city as Eliza looked at him before sighing quietly, 

“I’m sure it is his way to lift my spirits up,” she assured him but Alexander wasn’t convinced of that suggestion, 

“I think he might be _very_ honest,” he muttered lowly as Eliza shook her head in disapproval, 

“He is nothing but a good friend to me, Alexander,” she softly said, looking down as she remained to look away from him for the rest of their walk. 

She barely noticed his hold tighten only slightly, as if he was keeping her all to himself from every peering eyes around them despite everyone around them were minding their own. 

‘ _Just a good friend_...’ the words mocked in his head, Alexander pressed his lips together before resting a hand on on her waist as it made Eliza look at him in surprise as showing that close of affection was quite rare in public. However, she made no comment of it as she looked at him in his violet blue eyes before looking up ahead with a forced smile as he forced one of his own for the public view to avoid any tension that was building in between them. 

* * *

Pierre felt so... so... he didn’t how to describe it but his face was red and flushed. He covered his face through the entire ride in the carriage to back home. Eliza was running in his mind more often than usual as it was no longer a childhood crush no more. God, he was pushed back to his youth in Albany as he remembered the first time he laid eyes on Elizabeth Schuyler. She was young, it’s true, and even then he knew, he wanted her to be in his arms and have her love and affection for himself. Many rich families in Albany use to get together every now or then: The Schuylers, The Livingstons, The Van Rensselaers, The Van Cortlandts, all distant relatives close or not, we’re always having a little get together to shared bread at dinner together at someone's Estate. The children of these families will always find company in each other, playing in the gardens and such as Pierre remembered looking up at the old oak tree in his home’s backyard and there in one of the tree branches, was a beautiful young girl who was a little older than him beaming down and waving at the little boy who he once was. 

“Elizabeth Schuyler!” She laughed before climbing down to properly introduce herself. “It is so nice to meet you! Have you see Catherine Livingston, my dear Kitty?” 

“You have a cat?” The little boy, little Pierre, asked the girl before him with a daze smile on his face. She giggled, the most adorable sound he ever heard as he stood stunned and blissful forever. 

Turns out she was referring to her best friend, Catherine Livingston, who is nicknamed Kitty from those who were closed to her. But Pierre only remembered Eliza kissing his cheek and running off with the blonde girl instead as Pierre wound up following after them, Eliza happily allowed him to tag along. 

There was a bump in the carriage, Pierre sighed as he felt another memory flash and he was watching in awe as the three eldest Schuyler Sister’s were singing melody that eased everyone’s hearts. Eliza was also playing the piano, putting her heart out as she sang the lyrics as it captivated every young lad in the room as if she were a siren or perhaps an angel or maybe even a goddess fallen from the heavens to bless them. Pierre remembered leaning forward with a daze look in his eyes as he knew he would crawled to her feet willingly to do all her bidding in the favour to receive her affections. 

She was nothing like any girl he met before, Peggy Schuyler was the more artsy and the painter of the family while Henry Livingston brushed Angelica as a nosy political witty flirt that wants to get her hands into the good stuff that men found interesting. In all honest, General Schuyler and his wife made gorgeous girls none the less. 

Pierre wondered if he ever had the chance with Eliza had Hamilton never came into the picture. 

Now, Pierre places an elbow on the window of the carriage as he looked down at the busy streets as he thought long and hard. He had no affection for Colonel Hamilton, but he respected the man well enough as he hoped he made Eliza happy... which is now very much... not likely considering the circumstances right now. Pierre wondered if he did the right thing on telling Eliza that he was sweet on her on, it might give her hope and boost her self esteem as he fully understood that any woman with a cheating husband will have every right to question herself. But he things it is unfair, for no matter what, why must the hurt party think it is their fault to begin with? 

Eliza always was beautiful to him, he is pretty sure many will agree with him. Hamilton was a fool on going into he arms of another while having such a beauty he was married too. Well, will Eliza consider on divorcing Hamilton is the question... Pierre will very much propose for her hand on marriage if she did decide to leave Hamilton for good.

With a sigh, he smiled a little at the wonderful fantasy world he created in his youth to have Eliza by his side. Will it come a reality, someday?

* * *

Carefully placing William in the crib, Eliza smiled warmly at her sleeping little boy. Stroking his small mob of hair, she quietly left the nursery and carefully closed the door. That boy really resembled his father as well of having his strong powered lungs to go with it, wishing for attention from certain people. She quietly went across the hall to look inside Alex and James’s room to see both boys were tucked in, asleep from moment earlier as she smiled warmly at the sight. 

She then then went to Angie’s room, seeing she was also asleep and next to her bed was another one as a rush of nostalgia washed upon Eliza. The spare bed had belonged to Little Fanny, the sweet little girl that the family took in when she was a mere toddler after the passing of her father. It was only months before that Fanny’s older sister came back, grown and married, had took her in and they sailed off to England with Fanny’s sister’s new husband. She hopes that Fanny will grow and marry a nice man, have a wonderful future as well. The children still thought fondly of the girl they grew up with as a sister and Alexander was just as sad of losing a daughter as she was. 

With that, Eliza closed the door and went to Philip’s to check upon him as well to see him have dangling off his bed as she tried not laugh as he smirked like his father. Eliza quietly entered the room and gently pushed her sweet boy back on his bed, with a effort considering he now weight half like his father as she knew he will get heavier once he reached full maturity. Philip remained in a deep slumber, nonetheless. 

With that, Eliza left his room as well, closing the door behind her as she went down to peek at John’s room. As she opened the door, Eliza nearly got a small heart attack as she saw the bed empty with no John. A verge of panic fell within her before she heard footsteps coming up the stairs and she turned to see Alexander holding a sleeping John in his arms, Eliza sighed in relief with a smile to match. Alexander kisses his son’s forehead as John curled into him as her husband looked at her with a gentle smile of his own, 

“He fell asleep by my feet while I read the papers and he was playing nearby,” he told her as Eliza shook her head with a quiet laugh, going over to kiss her son’s little hands before looking up at Alexander with a warm look, 

“Seems like someone had a busy day,” she whispered before letting Alexander kiss her lips, 

“Our boy or me?” He asked in a suggesting tone as Eliza shook her head fondly, 

“Both,” she assured as Alexander chuckled a little before going inside of their son’s bedroom as Eliza led him in, placing their second youngest into his bed as John squirmed a little before snuggling under the covers as he smiled in his sleep when his mama’s kissed his forehead and tucked him in. 

Alexander stood by the doorway as Eliza came back inside, closing the door as quietly as possible as soon as she came next him. Eliza sighed, looking back at the closed doors, smiling a little as she felt blessed to have such blissful children. She hoped one day, more colour will fail the house and each of her children will the happiest as they could be once more. She then felt Alexander’s eyes on her as she met his gaze, biting her lips as he gaze at her in a way that seemed so familiar. Eliza bit her lips as her eyes fluttered while glancing down as he caresses her face and pushed a lock of dark hair behind her ear.

He gently cupped her face as Eliza found her small hands resting comfortably on his chest as he gaze down own at her with what appears to be a mixture of: fondness, love and... _lust_. Her legs felt so weak and a desire filled her within as she hoped the same was within him as well. The two always had an intimate relationship, it been so long since they made love. 

Something her mind was tugging the strings on her heart, Alexander leaned down and caught her lips in his as she willingly kissed back. She shouldn’t be falling back into him again, not in these circumstances as who knows what might happen. But she was still his wife, she still stayed no matter what her excuse was, she was still his wife and her wifely duties remained. He didn’t force her either, she wanted this as much as he did too. 

Eliza found herself in bed, letting out a soft moan as he kissed and sucked on her neck. His hand going under nightgown while she hugged him around him. She gasped as he touched her in the most intimate areas, Alexander licked her on the sweet, tender space under the crook of her neck as she closed her eyes, preparing his bite. His hot breathe tickled her, her legs wrapping around his waist, his breeches unbuttoned and ready. 

William’s little wails snapped them out the little fantasy they made as Eliza squirmed up send Alexander looked around in disbelief. They shared a look, the once desire fading away to an unsatisfying whirl as Eliza awkwardly moved away from him, 

“I’ll... be in the nursery,” was all she said as she hurried out of bed and out of the room before Alexander could say anything, 

“Betsey...” Alexander whispered, once she was gone, looking down with a sheer disappointment. When he hoped that everything could go back to normal and that all that happened only a mere nightmare... it didn’t happened as he buried his face in his hands. 

Meanwhile Eliza cradled her son in her arms with tears streaming down her face as William looked at her in confusion. 

“Oh, William,” Eliza whimpered, “Mama is doing her best to be a good wife to your papa... but I think I am failing... like always.” 

William whined, as if he was denying and snuggled into her as Eliza sniffed, looking down sadly. 

Perhaps Alexander wanted to find someone better now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, well here you go.
> 
> You know, out of all the admirers I am planning to give our dear Eliza... I think Pierre will be Alexander’s worst rival... without him even realizing in. Who am I referring to, it is up to you. Pierre is a big sweetie, honest and caring and a little awkward but cute. I really like him here. 
> 
> So, please tell me what you think so far!


	5. Chapter 5

_“My dearest girl,_ _these past months had been dreadful as I constantly think of you and the children variously each day. Your mother and I beg you come stay with us, an eternity perhaps as I can not imagine the embarrassment or hurt you are bearing and tolerating within you—“_

Eliza felt a breath got caught in her throat as she blinked back tears, composure herself once again as she couldn’t bare to continue reading. A letter from her father, pleading her to come stay with them, the aspects of her husband infidelity haunting her again. Questions filled in her mind as Eliza slowly went back to read the letter. Her father’s begs her come, to clear her head or to gain a newer aspect in life as he longed to hold her once again. 

“It been a while since I last visited,” Eliza whispered, but shuddered as she wondered if Alexander might go back to that girl again. But he stopped seeing Maria Reynolds in 1792, but... could he be lying to her? Maybe he will find someone new as she feared he might. 

“Betsey, are you ready?” 

Eliza turned to look at the doorway, hiding the letter behind her back as just on the cue that Alexander came to the doorway fiddling with his buttons. She pulled on a smile, “Oh, almost, actually.” 

She only replied with that, Alexander grinned at her as he looked at her up and down as it caused her cheeks to flush, “Alexander.”

”Hm,” Alexander drew near and wrapped his arms around her, “You look beautiful as always, my angel.”

His angel, he always called her. Something she hoped it was only for her and her only. She kissed his lips, he caressed her face, pulling her closer as she placed the letter on the side table of their bed, too caught up in the moment. Pulling away, Eliza smiled in a light daze as Alexander grinned warmly at her before kissing the top of her head. He let her go and continue to get ready as he prepared himself to escort her out... his eyes drew down at the forgotten letter on the side table. 

Curious, Alexander picked it up and read the lines as his heart sank and eyes grew wide as saucers, “Mr. Schuyler wants to...” 

“Alexander?” Eliza calked from the bathroom, Alexander sucked in a breathe and placed it down as he called back,

”Coming,” There was a slight jolt in his voice but he didn’t care, he wasn’t going lose his Betsey... he can’t. 

* * *

“Angelica,” Eliza found herself smiling a little as her older sister dazzled from the the opposite direction towards. Angelica were a mix shade of pink-purple gown that sleeves’ were half way to her elbows. She wore a shining diamond necklace and earrings. Her blonde hair was tucked up in a elegant do and wearing a mischievous smirk that Eliza’s own two boys, Alex and James inherited from their aunt. Eliza watched as her sister drew near, opened arms as she prepared for hug had someone not got in between them, pulling Eliza into their arms instead.

”Eliza!” A short, black ebony haired beauty mused, Eliza giggled as she happily embraced the other woman. Angelica huffed, slightly annoyed and viably upset as the ebony haired woman looked over with a cheeky grin of her own. She wore a yellow-gold gown with short sleeves, her hair was to her shoulders that had no need to be powdered or put up in any ridiculous hair do... that she often pointed out to Angelica. 

“And Peggy,” Angelica muttered with a sigh, Peggy winked before tickling Eliza’s chin playfully as it caused her older sister to let out a small giggle. 

“Peggy,” Eliza hummed, both of her sisters smiling at her. Her dark hair was let down, she never really liked putting in hair do’s but she did do them sometimes just not tonight. However, she felt a little underdressed, her blue-green dress was low on the neckline and considering she had the most children by far, her breasts were being a little too perky. She covered up with a shawl, her sleeves were to her elbows like her sister’s and the only jewel she wore was a smile. 

“Yes, just be simple and beautiful,” Peggy urges as Eliza grinned gently at her while Angelica shook her head but nodded in approval,

“You seem a lot more charming as usual, Peggy,” Eliza said warmly, taking her younger sister by the arm as a glare of jealousy sprung in Angelica’s eyes. Peggy glanced at their older sister smugly before looking back at her other sister wide, intrigued eyes,

”I just missed you, Betsey!” She exclaimed, wrapping a arm around Eliza’s waist and taking her hand into her own. “It been months and months since we last saw each other!”

”Oh, yes,” Eliza sighed screamingly, remembering the fond days where they were all young, unmarried and just three sisters dreaming the life they might have in hopes of finding true love or their soulmate. However, an ache in her heart nearly made her smile fade as she thought of her husband for a moment had she not try to add a little humor in. “I am starting to think you had forgotten me, Peggy.”

”Like you’re forgettable,” Angelica urges, charging over and wrapping her arms around Eliza as the sister in between sighed heavily. It was going to be tug of war again, like they were little girls as Angelica and Peggy always had a rather competitive relationship: they fought who gets to apply the new accessory their father bought them to share, they fight over seat at the dinner table, they fight over Eliza the most simply because Eliza just had that charm to be loved by all... not that Eliza herself knows that. 

Peggy shot Angelica a little glare but beamed at Eliza as she poked her sister’s side as Eliza winced a little with a flushed grin, “Me? Forget you? It is you, who I think, is forgetting me!” Peggy quietly exclaimed through the violins playing in the room. “I sent you six letters these past two months and I only received two from you!” 

“You think she is forgetting you, you charmed enough to forget me!” Angelica accused, taking Eliza for herself as Eliza looked up in surprise. “I lived in Europe, sent constant letters in a year and I am lucky enough to receive two per month.” 

Eliza flushed red as she let out a small chuckle in embarrassment as her sister’s bickered on who is stealing her attention as she froze to realize some heads turned to the three intoxicating sisters with raised brows or daze looks as if they were harmonized by sirens. Eliza bit her lips and looked away, Angelica and Peggy were still tugging on her arms, fighting in hush tones.

“Are you troubling my dear Betsey?” 

Eliza looked up in relief and smiled a little as Alexander emerged from the crowd as he finished talking to a bunch of political friends and many dancing on the dance floor. Alexander have her a kind, affectionate grin before glancing at the witty Angelica who only nodded her head at him and continued to fight with the sass of Peggy. 

“Oh no, brother,” Peggy caught his attention as she pulled on Eliza’s arm. “I am taking what’s rightfully is mine.” 

“I object that, because I had her first, directly thirteen months before you were even born, Margarita!” Angelica snapped, gripping Eliza close as Alexander grew a little concern as Eliza gaze pleadingly at him. 

“Please, Mrs. Angelique Church,” Peggy mimicked. “You been gone to London, Paris, spending adventure all that fancy European custom, I think it is safe to say I made up any lost time I had when at your absence.” 

“Oh, now I am an object that you two are fighting to claim for yourselves?” Eliza rolled her eyes as her sisters stopped fighting at the moment with wide eyes and dusty cheeks. They let her go as Eliza smirked at them before going to Alexander’s side as he happily offered her is arm, 

“Besides,” Alexander winked at her as Eliza smiled a little at his advances. “You’re mine.” 

“Of course,” Eliza nodded in agreement with a warm smile of her own yet her mind is wondering otherwise. She heard both of her sisters scoffed, playfully as they crossed their arms or placed a hand on their hips. 

“It is always a man,” Peggy huffed at Alexander’s smirk, 

“What is, little Peggy?” 

All heads turned and Angelica delightedly called, “John!” 

Mr. John Church emerged through the crowd with two glasses of champagne as he offered one of his wife as Angelica gladly accepted. Church was dressed rather nicely, complimenting his wife’s appearance just by standing by her as his lustrous hair was tied back presently. He gave Eliza a warm smile as she returned it easily, he glanced at Alexander as they shared a little nod in acknowledgment, and then resting eyes with Peggy as she winked at him in an act of playful flirting as he chuckled fondly. Angelica found it less amusing, however. 

“Oh, there you are!” Another voice called as the group turned as Peggy waved over, 

“Stephen!” 

Stephen Van Rensselaer III clumsily charged over, tall and attractive, polished up nicely and dark haired tied elegantly. His striking eyes shined as his awkward smiled charmed his wife, her sisters and husbands well. Peggy hooked arms with him as they shared a playful smile between them, “We’re all here!” 

“Though I wished someone wasn’t,” Angelica muttered in her glass, her husband sighed while Eliza frowned. Alexander coughed awkwardly, Stephen blinked in confusion and Peggy glared with a forced grin, 

“The feeling is mutual, sister,” Peggy almost hissed as Angelica scowled, the rest of their small company shared worried and nervous grins and confused chuckles. 

“Uh, Peggy,” Stephen grabbed her elbow as he gently led her to the dance floor. “A dance?” 

“Oh, alright,” Peggy silently agreed as the pair went off. 

“Another drink, my dear?” Church offered as Angelica sighed, nodding, 

“Please,” she muttered and led her husband off as Church glance at her sister and brother-in-law with an apologetic look in his eyes. 

This left Alexander and Eliza alone, glancing at each other with confused glances as a sudden awkwardness fulfilled them. 

Eliza wondered what to do next while Alexander was determined to keep her for himself, offering her hand as she looked down with a surprise sparkle in her eyes, “Shall we?” He offered her a gentle look as she smiled a little, taking his hand, 

“Alright,” she agreed at with that, the pair were gliding through the dance floor, pausing Stephen and Peggy as the music filled the air. 

It let nice, both Alexander and Eliza shared a long conversation together yet they barely remembered what exactly as they were more focused on the delighted smiles and laughter they shared together. However, it was eventually cut after a few songs and Stephen got in between them as he politely asked to have a spin with Eliza on the dance floor. The mission in Alexander’s head, to keep Eliza for himself, was threatened as he forced a smile that was fighting to stay up while Eliza warmly asked the younger man, 

“Is Peggy having a drink?” 

“And having fun teasing Church,” Stephen chuckled as Eliza giggled, Alexander looked at her in disbelief as he never heard giggle like _that_ before. It sounded young and cheeky, why hadn’t she did that with him before? 

He soon was in the corner as his wife agreed to reed to dance without her brother-in-law as the two seemed like to have a fine time together. A rage boiled inside him as it didn’t go unnoticed as Angelica approached him, 

“You do know you have nothing to worry about,” Angelica pushed, a filled glass of champagne in her hand and her other hand rested on her hip. Alexander snorted, that almost sounded mocking as Angelica raised a brow, “Alexander, what right do you have in accusing my sister, your wife in anything in your own imagination.” 

“With all do respect, dear sister,” Alexander cut in as the eldest Schuyler daughter looked at him in surprise as she never heard that tone before, almost snapping and raised that not even her own husband had ever used on her. Alexander's eyes were filled with spite, “I think you should mind yourself as this is between me and my wife. Thank you.” 

Angelica shook her head, watching him leave her side as she sighed, “God, please show your mercy.” She muttered, finding her way back to her own husband and Peggy. 

* * *

“Wasn’t this night delightful?” Eliza asked, try to spark cheer between her and her husband throughout the ride home. However, she was only met with a grunt as Alexander drew his eyes away and out the window, Eliza blinked a little surprised but remained quiet. Slowly, she closed her eyes and tried to hold a groan as she immediately knew what might happen once they got home. 

There is is no point in pressuring him to talk, a little ironic since he usually never stopped talking, she mentally prepared were the argument to come. They got out of the carriage, nodding a good evening to the driver as he nodded and ride his horses off. Eliza went to the front door and Alexander patiently waited for her to open the door as she could feel the tension growing in between them. 

“Here it goes,” she murmured quietly to herself as they entered their home and locked the doors and that was when the argument went at it, 

“For the love of God, Alexander, I am not hiding anything from you!” Eliza cried at his first accusation, 

“That is what I want to believe until Stephen touched you,” Alexander hissed as Eliza felt her blood boiling, tears pricked in her eyes as she shook her head, 

“He’s my brother in law, Alexander,” she shouted, her voice strained. Oh God, why did he have to accuse her in anything like this when it should be vice versa. “I never say anything when you flirt with Angelica and he and I merely were sharing a dance!” 

“Oh yes, the same way with you and Pierre,” Alexander replied, his voice icy as Eliza felt like crying. 

“I thought you trusted me,” Eliza shook her head, clutching her fists. “Why are you asking me this when I should be the one asking you—,” 

“Eliza, I-,” he was ready to defend himself but Eliza screamed, taking him by surprise as he nearly stumbled back as she was now crying, 

“Are you asking me this just for me to go insane and perhaps you are going to someone else now!” She had tears streaming down her face, Alexander stood gaping before realizing what was happening as he shook his head. 

He messed up again, he was going to lose her! 

“Betsey, no, I swear,” he tried to approach her again, went to touch her arm but she brushed out of his reach, he paled at the hurt look in her eyes. “Please, just listen-,” 

“I always been listening,” Eliza sobbed, shoulder shaking as she looked down at the floor. “Every single day, Alexander, I can’t do this any more.” 

“Eliza, I’m sorry,” Alexander pleaded, taking her hands but to his horror, she pulled away from him again as if he was hurting her. “Please, we could try something-,” 

“Haven’t we tried already?” Eliza asked, shaking her head through a sniff, gesturing the the entire house. Old Peggy peeled out the corner, shaking and whimpering. Philip and Angie snuck to the end of stairs, away from their parents eyes as they shared fearful looks and tears streaming down their faces. Alexander watched in pure horror, guilt, his knees falling weak as he hand to hold onto the table nearby to keep standing, 

“We tried _everything,_ I wanted to keep this family together but I don’t think I can hold on much longer,” Eliza croaked, her throat feeling dry as she barely fought as Alexander caught both of her shoulders, 

“Eliza please, give me another chance,” he begged, tears streaming down his face too. “I promise to do better, please give me another chance. Us another chance—,” 

“I did,” Eliza whimpered, looking down sadly as she tried to think of a solution to fix any of this mess right now. “I give us a chance, you a chance, countless of times... but it is not working, Alexander, I tried to, I swear I-,” 

“I know!” Alexander said, lips quivering. “Please, I swear to give everything Betsey, anything that you ask just so we could still be together-,” 

Eliza looked up at him sharply, tears flowing freely down her face as her voice was merely a little choke in a sob that broke Alexander’s heart. Philip and Angie’s heart, even Old Peggy’s as she whimpered out, 

“The only thing I ever wanted was you.” 

And she was just talking just having him before her, but only have his love, his time, his trust, his loyalty... she wanted him to be her _husband_. But now... 

“Betsey, just tell me what I need to do to make up for everything,” Alexander begged, hoping to fix it all, 

Eliza looked down, sniffing a little as she sighed. What she said next, Alexander’s entire world crashed down as Philip and Angie shared a look of shock and hurt but understanding as their mother whimpered put with the most pain in her eyes and voice, her beautiful face speaking all her hurt, 

“I think we should divorce, Alexander.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww...


End file.
